Since last August, when Katie had her Senior pictures taken, I have felt a feeling of impending change. It took me awhile to identify why I had been feeling a little off and once I figured it out, I had a nice little dose of reality. It's definitely not a bad change, although I'll miss her terribly. I'm so excited for Katie to experience college! College is one of the memories I look back upon with utmost fondness ~ the football games, meeting roommates for lunch, the classes (except for a few), the feeling of freedom and much more. I've been able to reconnect with a few roommates on facebook and it has been fun sharing memories. One of my roommates has invited us to dinner with them when we take Katie down to Provo. I'm excited to see her!
It's not just this one event though, that's driving the feeling of change. There are little events such as the end of a fun book series or favorite television program to big changes such as my baby Rachel being baptized last summer, Tyler driving and Anna becoming a true "tween." And I'm entering a new decade of life next week. I don't feel upset about it but rather, just incredulous. I recall thinking when Katie was born that she would graduate in 2010 right after I turned 40. This seemed so far away at the time that it was almost laughable. Well, now it's here and there's nothing I can do about it except for embrace it with a little laughter/tear combination. With this acceptance, I have to acknowledge that we are moving to a different stage of life. Even though I still feel 25, I'm definitely not. I can no longer group myself in with the "younger" families of the ward. I can hardly remember what it was like to have my oldest not even be in school yet.
So......coming to terms with a lot of change at once has made for a roller coaster of emotion, but I'm also excited to see what the future holds.
I think I need to try something new. (And as my fear of heights has not changed, it won't be sky-diving!) We shall see......
Loved this. I think it is so helpful to walk yourself through how you are feeling in relation to all the changes. It sounds trite but time really does seem to fly by... And your children are growing up so nicely!
ReplyDeleteI think you SHOULD try sky diving. I'll go with you! :-)
ReplyDeleteI won't kid you--when Katie leaves there will be a hole but you will adjust. You and Jay have done a great job with your kids so they will just make you proud every time they make their good choices. Even though, Katie appreciates you now, she will appreciate you all the more when she is away from home.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the middle stage I think. I have one ready for middle school and another off to kindergarden next year. I feel like I'm in limbo. Not quite sure what I will do with myself next year.
ReplyDeleteI totally know the "think I am 25"...It's odd, feeling young and yet not being young! For me, my kids are all young, so they are the ages of the moms almost or just entering 30...and so it is funny, how they all think of me as so old! Oh well.
ReplyDeleteThe funniest story...I was going to lunch and there was a group of 5 old ladies...I'm talking 80...and they were talking about how they felt the same as when they were 25...it never goes away...we just get older! =)